This blogger, Sydney, is a fashionable young mom. I love her raw posts like this one below. They are so well written. It is beautiful so I wanted to share. And I hope I will remember this post by Sydney` later when I will feel this way many times too.  

http://www.thedaybookblog.com/2012/10/blerg.html

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by Sydney

I was feeling a little down on my game today. For no good reason at all. Just something that happens occasionally when the only thing I've heard all day is my own voice conversing with a baby. That and the quiet. The mean quiet, that can so easily invite my self-doubts to the surface and believe every negative thing I've ever heard or thought about myself. The quiet that makes me feel as if I am incapable of beating the creeping feeling of loneliness away. It's silly, and self-indulgent and I'm ashamed of those feelings when I have so much to be grateful for in my life. But there they are, sitting in the silent corner, waiting for me to let them jump in my head and indulge.

What do I know about loneliness anyway? Nothing. With an extra eye-roll on top of that nothing for good measure. When I think of military wives and husbands, single mothers and fathers, orphaned children, those in nursing homes, and all the forms that human loneliness can embed itself in, my feelings are instantly invalidated in my mind. Laughable even. ha ha ha ha.

They were especially laughable today at the kitchen table, when I was sitting there next to Everett eating my sandwich, giving myself {yes, giving myself. It was a moment of CHOICE I'm telling you!} approximately 15 seconds to get whatever tears that needed to come out, OUT. I looked over at him, feeling totally ashamed of switching emotional gears so quickly in front of him, and there was his little face looking back at me. A little confusion in his eyes, but proudly wearing that big fake grin that he's been practicing so much lately. The one with his nose scrunched up and all his teeth showing. And I laughed. Zeroing in on my happy little dose of perspective, I could laugh at my moment of silliness. Then I grabbed that little boy and kissed him, apologizing to the confusion in his eyes for the wetness in mine.

There was also a laughable moment over the weekend, when Tyson was out of town, and somehow I managed to get myself a real nice case of the sicks. The short-lived but gross kind. Where you're so out of your mind with grossness that you're actually happy to be kneeling next to a toilet because it's so wonderfully cold. You're almost positive that you're dying. Almost 100% sure that you saw your will to live at the bottom of the porcelain. And your mind, in the diluted, pathetic state that it is, is hardly allowing you to do anything but throw your big-girl panties out the window. But it's the middle of the night, and you woke your sweet baby up so he needs to be put back to sleep. And as laughable and comparatively invalid as it may be, for one night, you feel the loneliness again.

But you know, that's just the wonderful thing about being a mama. Most of the time, there IS no time for indulgence in self-doubt and loneliness. Not when those two little hands are reaching over to share your saltine crackers with you.