Feeling a lot better today, feeling more like a normal human being. I can eat a little more than usual. My cough is still going, but that's ok! I forgot what I was going to write..... shoot

I'm going to take some time to WHINE right now. Being the first married and one of the first to get pregnant is such a blessing, but can also be a lonely thing. I struggled a lot with these things, and many tears because of it. I wouldn't trade my life for anything, but it does get tough at times. :]

Korean music makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside. Whether it's old school Kpop, ballads, or even hip hop/ r&b.... hahaha. :/ Yeah baby agrees.

I'm still waking up with a headache, but it's not as intense and it goes away fairly quickly. I feel like I am getting better day by day.

One of my worst nightmares are bad roots in your hair [hair dye]!! My roots are growing in, and I'm pregnant. I can't dye my hair.......... :/ I don't like the ombre look on myself. Sigh. hehehhe

First OB and meeting baby!

I went to the OB GYN today for the first time [in couple years]. I am 6 weeks pregnant. What!? 6 Weeks? That means I got pregnant a week after we started trying. We conceived the baby the first week of August and right before we left for our trip. I heard of a couple who got pregnant on their first try, and I remember I was so envious [not in a bad way] of them! Sorry let me gloat right now - I can't believe we got pregnant within a week or two of trying!! I hate me for saying something obnoxious like that. :P

I'm weighing in at 102lbs right now at 6 weeks. Let me remember that I used to weigh 102lbs.

I saw the blob :] and when I heard the heartbeat, I cried. Shoot I almost cried when the Doctor entered the room for no reason. I was afraid that I was going to see our baby for the first time today - by MYSELF. It's ok though. My husband didn't think it was going to happen. I have 2 pictures. I saw the umbilical cord too!


First time I felt pregnant, but can't believeeeee it! Squeel! - throwing up in a certain way.
Feeling pregnant, but still can't believe it - being sick and tired everyday!
Second time I felt pregnant, but still can't believe it - Today at my baby's first OB GYN and hearing our baby's heart beat.
I think it'll kick in in the Second Trimester when we can share with others and my bump starts!



The black blob is the baby ;]

It's the same routine: I wake up with a headache and some nausea, lately it's been "bareable" [or maybe I'm used to it?] during the day, I get tired every few hours so I just take it easy, I usually get tired around 1pmish and will nap, start normal for a bit, start getting the headache and nausea again [morning and night], I get tired again around 8pm, and sleep 9-10pmish.

I still can't eat much. Lately I'm more hungry though, but I barely eat anything.

I have an invention idea!! When anyone, especially a pregnant woman, wants to go to the bathroom, but doesn't want to get out of bed or wake up, they can just push a button. A decent size hole in the mattress will appear where you move to so you can just pee in bed and flush! Sounds gross? No, sounds like a dream! It would be an expensive thing to have, but I would DEF buy it. Muahaha. My husband already patented the idea.... jk he thinks I'm mcnasty.

I'm feeling ok today! I can eat almost anything I want without being grossed out. Foods actually seem good to me. Sigh, I kinda want Halal Chicken and Rice. I am tired even though I didn't do much. My boobs are definitely bigger. I smelled everything in the city yesterday from a skunk to... everything. I can smell the air in our apartment.

Starting last week, I was going to be extra selfish and take on more hobbies. I was going to double boxing a week, start golfing diligently, start pilates with that stretching device, take on swimming lesson, and go to a lot of lunches and dinners with friends. Eh, I guess I can still do most of these things in a bit. :]

Last night I had this wonderful dream of a toasted sesame bagel with eggs, ham, and cheese. Yummmm I can still remember the dream now. But in reality, I don't want to eat that huge thing.

I feel better!! After being in bed all week, I can get out of bed since last night! I'm still sick, but that's ok. My cough is really bad, but that's ok. I feel like I can live. I prayed that I would feel better. I haven't been out of my apartment since Sunday night. It's Friday and I'm going to meet my girlfriends for some umami burgers tonight [well done of course].

I made an OB appt for Monday. I'm sad they don't open on weekends because my husband and I wanted to go together!

My husband woke me up with green juice [oh yes, this will be an everyday thing] and kisses. I don't want to eat anything, but soup again today. I don't not want to eat today, but I don't want to eat either. The thought of food sounds so gross. I'll just have broth. I did like the idea of tacos today though.

I threw up. Still have the nonstop migraine and nausea. When will it go away?

My stronger sense of smell has already stated. I NEVER knew dove body wash had ALL those amazing fragrants!

Ssica came over with my favorite Vietnamese noodles, Pho and La Bonbonniere cake to celebrate our baby, lol. I felt A LOT better!! I just needed some TLC, haha.

Been in bed all week. In bed all day. Today is the worst. I couldn't do anything today. I took a shower, and it was so hard. SO nauseous. Nonstop headache.

My husband hands me juice he made for me in the morning. I couldn't eat anything all day long. I ate some soup late at night. The thought of any food makes me disgusted, but I did like the thought of baked ziti. I probably wouldnt have ate it, but it sounded good to me today.

Home Pregnancy Tests

Since I was feeling sick, I wanted to take meds. So I wanted to check first if I could or should take meds or not. I was 50/50 on whether or not I was pregnant. I definitely felt pregnant, but I could also just be making myself feel more pregnant and just be very hopeful. I was also scared of taking a pregnancy test because I didn't want to be let down. I am barely ever a hesitant person, but I stalled on taking these home pregnancy tests until the night of Monday, September 16, 2013.

We had two pregnancy test boxes. One was given to me from my sister in law at my bridal shower over 3 years ago. The other was given to me from my previous boss. One of the pregnancy test boxes had been 9 months expired and one box was going to expire next month.

 So I try the 9 month expired pregnancy test first. It saids that results show in 2 minutes. Two minutes to be waiting and staring at the test seemed like it would be torture for me so I went into the kitchen to do something [I don't even remember what]. My husband, of course, is on stand by and I hear a yipee or wahoo type of noise from him after a minute. I'm like ... Are you kidding?? Don't even play around. No way!... I had this conversation by myself without waiting for his responses. He saids he is not kidding and saids in a funky voice, "Baby - we pregnant~" I look at the pregnancy test and the mark is super dark. It's like - HELLO YOU ARE VERY PREGNANT. I don't act excited because I don't believe it. I am happy, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I continue to state that this test is expired. So my husband voluntarily pees on a stick. His is negative and so faint. The comparison of the two tests are so different.

Ok, I want to believe I'm pregnant, but I'm scared of being let down. How accurate are these tests anyway!? My husband saids that these test are VERY accurate, lol. Being pregnant would mean I, we are the happiest people at that moment. I hold my excitement. I decide not to take meds, lol. [FYI, I'm actually pretty far from a pessimist.]

Ok, I want to try the unexpired pregnancy test so I proceed to that one... But I can't pee so I barely splash some pee on it. [TMI, but get used to it!] It doesn't even activate at first. I need to do it again! I can't pee for at least another 40 minutes and my husband is asking me if I'm ready to pee every 5 minutes. He is so excited and he already knows in his blood that we are pregnant. This stick gives me one solid line - the first line indicating that we are pregnant, but the other line doesnt show. I can tell that this stick is saying we are pregnant.

I feel like I can pee so I take a stick and pee on it, but I pee on the wrong stick! I pee on the last expired one and not the one I wanted to pee on. Geez! lol. I blame my husband for putting the expired one on the sink, lol! I have too many pregnancy tests right now. I say whatever and that I'll do it tomorrow morning.

I repeat to my husband which stroller and baby bag I want, lol. So typical me. I'm excited and it takes me some time to fall asleep that night.

I wake up fairly early and finally pee on the right stick. I'm too tired to wait or check, but I have a strong feeling that it will be a positive one. My husband comes back saying he knew we are pregnant, that this stick is not expired, is well peed on [haha], and confirms two lines indicating that this home pregnancy test is also another positive one.

All those sticks man. We ended up taking too many of them, haha. I do believe we are pregnant, but I won't feel confident until we go to the OB. And then of course, wait until my 2nd trimester to make sure our baby can grow.

But HOW IN THE WORLD DO PEOPLE HOLD THIS SECRET for 3 months!??! GEEZ. This is a crime. Bloody murder I tell you! I've already failed. :P

 

Eh, I'm just lazy today. LAY-G.
And it don't mattah. And I don't care. Got no worries! :]

I thank God that I have a husband who is able to provide financially, but also supportive and let me stay home. I am so thankful beyond words that I was able to stay home while I feel miserable and to not worry about anything. I can barely get out of bed and I am lucky I was able to not feel guilty or bad about resting.

It is also very "funny" that the family I was a nanny for happened to move last minute across the globe for work. My BFF and I talked about this in June, and what we thought is really happening. God's perfect plan for us is unfolding. I prayed  a lot and very specifically for this particular time. :] I'm just glad that this was the time for us.

We found out about my job and the family in June, I finished work in July, my husband and I started trying end of July/beginning of August [don't remember, lol], went on our trip in August, and we found out the first week of his job in September that we were in our First Trimester.

I woke up with a headache. My headache can definitely be from over sleeping everyday!

The more you sleep, the more you sleep can explain why I've been sleeping so much these past few days.

Feeling nauseous can be from thinking that I am pregnant.

And just being sick can contribute to all of this.

I have definitely been burping a lot though.

I'm coming up with a million very reasonable reasons why I feel they way I feel, and not being pregnant as a defense mechanism.

But I hope and pray that God has blessed us with our own miracle.

I'm trying to tell myself that the symptoms I have are because I am making myself feel this way which I definitely think can be very true. I'm also being bipolar and going back and forth. I'm also taking it another level and telling myself that if I do take a pregnancy test, it'll come out negative, but have doubts that it might be wrong and I will be pregnant because at that point, I'll be disappointed. [Woah that doesn't even make sense, but I that's what I thought.] Ugh trying to get pregnant is so sensitive and messes with your mind and emotions!! I want to be calm and not over think! :]

I got a taste of what it could feel like to be sick from being pregnant, and I thought to myself suffering for a life is worth it! Being sick for no reason, sucks, haha.

Ok I threw up again. UGH! It was that pregnancy type of motion again, lol.

I have a fever, have a slight sore throat, and I'm coughing a bit. I think I'm just sick.

I am still very tired. I sleep maybe 11 hours because I have a lunch date. I could have slept more, but this is also not rare because I can easily sleep 12 hours.The difference is that after a long night of sleep, I don't feel that tired, but after 11 hours of sleep, I was still groggy. I had a glass of wine with lunch [my last glass.....]. After I come back from the lunch date, I'm really exhausted and I did absolutely nothing at lunch. I'm still tired and I go back to sleep for few hours. I slept more today than I was awake. After I get up from my nap, my body doesn't feel refreshed at all. It felt like that nap did absolutely nothing for me. My body was still very tired. I woke up around 5pm because I was really hungry. Nothing sounds good to eat, but I'm hungry - this is usually common too. I boil water for pasta since Ty already made sauce and it's in the fridge. While I'm boiling a small portion of water for my serving of pasta, I have maybe 5 delicious small cherry tomatoes. After a few minutes, I feel really sick. So I start thinking, "Ok, I'm really tired because I'm sick! My throat did hurt a tiny bit since yesterday." This is very true. Now, my head hurt, my throat hurt where I felt like I had to throw up, my stomach hurt, and my body was weak. I feel a very strong urge to throw up all of a sudden............ and I do throw up all those cherry tomatoes straight into the toilet. Ty is there with me in the bathroom. I cry because I felt sick while throwing up and then I smile really big because I'm wondering if I'm pregnant. I eat my pasta because I'm so hungry, but I feel sick. I don't finish it and go lie down. 

I decide I'm going to wait several days to see if I'm sick or not. There's been times where I thought I was pregnant and then I got my period so I didn't want to get too excited.

But throwing up for no reason... unless I'm sick is a huge sign. I'm not a person who throws up when they're sick. I only throw up when I'm hungover, LOL. There's only been a few times in my life where I threw up because I'm sick is what I mean. I'm lucky I rarely got a stomach bug. And the way I was throwing up... it was like morning sickness of pregnant person where it comes, it comes, I make the noise, I make the noise again, and then I run to the toliet confused. 

Went to sleep at 9pm for 12 hours that night.

I am still tired. I wanted to sleep at 9pm which is extremely rare, but I slept maybe an hour later. Remind you it's a Friday night.

Maybe it's because I overslept and when I oversleep, I'm always tired. The more you sleep, the more you sleep. And I'm a CHAMP at sleeping.

I am really... very tired today.  

Today was the first time in a month I was able to box again with traveling and my boxing trainer, Victor's, schedule. [He told me today that he and his gf are pregnant!!] A reasonable explanation why I'm feeling exhausted should be because I haven't boxed in a while and I'm out of shape because I haven't done any type of exercise in the past month.