Crybaby

So last Friday the kids I nanny had their Tae Kwon Do test to move up from being a white belt to a yellow belt. They were nervous. The girl was especially nervous about breaking the board.

So there I am watching with the parents. First one does fine after couple tries. It came to the part where she had to break the board. She kept at it and by the 20th [no, no really] time I started to get so sad. Everyone in the entire room [all the kids taking the tests with their parents, nannies, friends, etc] all watching just her since she's the last one standing. She is a very persistent girl so she kept kicking the board without hesitation, but with every kick she got more and more discouraged. I know she's petrified inside, disappointed in herself, and frustrated that she cant kick the board in half after the 30th try. What she had been worried about for days and what she dreaded most ... her "worst" nightmare was coming true to her.

At this point, I am trying to hold myself together. [What the!?, right? LOL!] She finally breaks it! I'm so proud that she kept kicking until she broke the board. Then she wipes her tear really quickly like a 30 year old man, not even a little girl, and sits back down as everyone is cheering for her.

IIII, friggin of course, start to loose it. I cry. UGH. So many questions in my mind like I hope the parents dont see me, I hope this random dad next to me who isnt into the tests and on his iphone doesnt think i'm cray cray, I hope the teachers and master dont see me, I hope I'm not too red in the face and eyes, Geez why am I so emotional?, WHy am I crying?, OMG she isnt even my child!!, WAIT seriously why am I crying, OH GREAT I'm going to cry for EVERYTHING for my kids, etc etc. Yes, the FRiggin crybaby is me, not even the girl! :P

I know I'm a crybaby [I'm a HUGE crybaby], but why did I cry about this? It was so emotional for me. So sad. I wanted to shield her and tell her it was ok and that she did GREAT. And no I wasn't even being sensitive on my monthly so I dont get it. xP