Hilarious Questions To Ask Yourself Before Having Kids

reblogged: http://swankybaby.net/2012/02/hilarious-questions-to-ask-yourself.html & thestir.com


You think you are ready for a baby in your life, but are you sure you are ready? Don't let those perfect family photos you see all over facebook trick you into thinking that is what life will be like every moment. In fact taking those family pictures were probably stressful too!!

I found this hilarious list of questions (and their answers) from thestir.com and it was a must to share. My husband and I laughed the whole time reading this. Enjoy the laugh too!

1. Do you like to sleep in? [HXLL to the EFF YES. 10-12 hours a day. I dread not sleeping in future.]
If your answer is yes, consider getting a gerbil. If no, continue to the next question.

2. Are you totally cool with someone throwing up all over you? Repeatedly?
If yes, then I question your sanity for the job. If no, don't worry, you'll get used to it.

3. Can you go three days without sleep and still drive a car?
If you answered no, make sure you live by a reliable means of public transportation before getting pregnant. If yes, I want whatever it is you've got.

4. Do you require privacy to do your business in the bathroom? [Whew. 1 thing I can handle. hahahaha.]
If yes, prepare for problems, and invest in a good laxative.

5. Are you prepared to say goodbye to the sound of yourself thinking for at least the next 18 years?
If no, don't worry, you will quickly forget that such a sound even existed. There are plenty of new and unusual sounds that will take its place (Mommmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyy!).

6. Do you have a whole list of things you'll NEVER do as a parent? Do you hate to be wrong?
If yes to both, start by ripping that list up right now.

7. Do you love input from strangers on things that are none of their business and adore being judged for pretty much every move you make?
If no, proceed with caution and start practicing deep breathing techniques.

8. Can you clean up puke, change 10 crib sheets, make dinner, and help someone do homework while running a fever of 103?
Okay, no one thinks they can.

9. Do you like to fly on airplanes and eat in restaurants without the burning eyes of hatred from hundreds of glaring strangers searing into your skin?
If yes, think of adopting a 17-year-old. People usually start to be kinder to kids in public around that age.

10. Are you good at scraping things off of floors -- like oh, say ... your PRIDE?
This is pretty much the biggest deal breaker. Your personal pride all but evaporates it comes to leaking breasts, public potty accidents, and children who blurt out exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time. The best you can do is scrape up the scraps and carry on.

Still ready for that baby? ha!